Have you been Ghosted-ish? - HEA Novel Thoughts

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A while back I wrote a post you may remember, why I’ll be single forever. In that post I mentioned this guy I met on Bumble and proceeded to have a Snapchat relationship with for the past six months.

When I first started ‘talking’ with him he was just let go from his job and in the market for a new one. We never really talked about meeting up, and I thought that

A) he wasn’t really interested or
B) he didn’t have money for dating because he was unemployed.

This wasn’t really a big deal for me, because I like to vet guys through messages for a good while and get a sense for them prior to meeting them. I have to be smart right?

I wasn't quite ghosted, but I was definitely ghosted-ish. We slowly fizzled out instead of either one making a move to meet, so ghosted..ish.

We kind of lost contact in there for a little bit and I checked in to see how the job hunt was going and boom! He’s got a job… in Austin. Four hours from where I live in Dallas. Of course, my hopes and dreams of us meeting up, are basically dashed at this point. Even though he claimed he would still be coming back to Dallas from time to time.

Since he had moved, he’d told me several times that he is coming to Dallas soon, and since I’m a crazy woman and Snapchat has a feature now called, Snapmap, I can basically stalk him, well I was able to once. Since then he has disabled me being able to see where he is on the map. Kind of a bummer, but what can I do? (P.S. He didn’t know I tracked him on the map.)

So, I know for sure he came to town once and he didn’t reach out to me all weekend, even though I snapped and messaged him a couple of times. When he was back in Austin, he told me that he was in town and but he was sick all weekend. (Do you believe this? I don’t buy it) Whatever thought, right? I enjoy talking to him, so I looked past this charade. I’m sure he has been in since, but I don’t know for sure.

Last weekend, he told me that he was coming in town for work and told me the hotel he would be staying at, this hotel was less the 3 miles from my office!!! I’m thinking YES! THIS IS IT! I’m finally going to meet the man that I’ve been talking to semi-regularly for the past SIX MONTHS!

He asks, “If we meet up will you be able to control yourself?” Okay. Do you see the red flags waving right there?? The two things he mentioned to me, were the name of the hotel and basically asking if I can keep myself from making an advance on him? Hmm. I automatically got a little skeptical and nervous, but I figured I would wait and see how this played out. I told myself that I wouldn’t go to his hotel, because let’s be honest, we all know what would happen if I went there.

He came in town Tuesday afternoon. He let me know he made it town safely. And then… crickets. NOTHING. Ghosted-ish. I finally heard from him Sunday night. A snap of him laying in bed. Now. I’m sure you are wondering why I’m adding the ish to this post. He didn’t reach out to me, but I in turn didn’t reach out to him either, (see the aforementioned red flags).

Call me old school if you want, but I feel that I should pursued by a man. If we were reading one of our favorite romance novels, I would have been. He would have gone out of his way to see me. We were within 3 miles of each other, we could have easily grabbed a bite to eat for lunch. I would have loved to sit and chat in person to see if we have legit chemistry or if we are better to be Snapchat friends. I’m calling this ghosted-ish because I feel that if I had reached out to him he probably would have met up with me.

“I want f*cking epic. I want someone to love me with the same intensity I feel for him.”
Spider by Ilsa Madden-Mills

All of that said I want more than a man who might message me to meet up, and probably just to get in my pants, not just to get to know me. I recently read Spider by Ilsa Madden-Mills, and Rose says, “I want f*cking epic. I want someone to love me with the same intensity I feel for him.” And damn it. That’s what I want too! I am obviously not going to find epic love with this guy if after six months of talking he can’t find it in him to ask me on a date when he is within THREE miles of me!

Have you been ghosted-ish? Would your prefer this over being straight ghosted? Let’s hear it!! Want to tell me your story of being ghosted-ish or just straight ghosted but don’t want to share with the world? My inbox is always open, joy@heanovelthoughts.com.