The Epic Romance Novel Formula
Happy Romance Awareness Month! It’s like the month was made for me and you and our love of Romance Novels!! To kick off the month I’m bringing you The Epic Romance Formula!
Let’s start with the cover… You MUST without a doubt have a shirtless man on the cover. If you don’t how will anyone EVER know that your book is a romance novel about a striking young lad?? If he is embracing a woman… even better!
Speaking of that striking lad… don’t you dare give him a subpar penis! Every romance hero should be well endowed, and have a drool worthy dick. If the romance hero’s cock isn’t described as beautiful then I don’t want it in the book I’m going to read. #PrettyPenisPlease
While the dick should be pleasing to the eye, our leading lady will simultaneously wonder how it will fit inside of her! Will it even feel good? Will she rip, split in two?? She doesn’t have these answers because… she’s a virgin. Duh! How would she know how it works??
When you’re writing that hero please, I’m begging you, don’t make that man a scrub. We need a rich man, one that can support us, put us up in a house, a castle, a brownstone. But, honestly, a millionaire isn’t enough, we need BILLIONAIRES baby!
I don’t care what his profession is, he can be a mechanic or a garbage collector, as long as he has a dead relative that left him all of their money and they are now insanely rich! He’s rich, so it’s totally okay for him to be a dick now. Because, as previously discussed he’s dicking you good at this point 😉
The rest of the story is completely up to you, but if you don’t include these things you might just be the laughing stock of the romance community. I’m not trying to be cocky or anything, just wanting to help you out! 😉
Thanks so much for this! Even though I am not a writer, I like being in the know.